Convince Me (Holton Series #1) Read online

  She need not have worried. Steven returned the next day only this time he accompanied Julie. He was friendly but never over stayed his welcome. He didn’t try to see her alone and gave her the breathing room she had asked for. Anna was grateful but a little cautious. Steven watched her and the look in his eyes would not let her forget the passion that had flared between them.

  They established an uneasy truce. Anna tried to treat him with a cool indifference. She was polite but distant and Steven never said a word but was as charming and kind as ever. He treated her with respect and Anna began to enjoy his visits.

  She knew that Julie found the situation amusing. Thankfully, Julie managed to refrain from commenting. Andrew joined them one day and Anna was beginning to relax. She enjoyed the new friendships she was forming and liked being part of a group. She began to believe that she and Steven could build a relationship that she might be able to handle.

  On Friday, she realized she might have been wrong. The first sign of trouble came from Julie’s reaction to the news that Anna had a date. Steven had not joined them for coffee that day. Anna had been secretly relieved. She had to tell Julie about her date but had been uneasy about saying anything in front of Steven. Anna knew her friend would be hurt if she didn’t tell her and in a town the size of Holton, there was no way Julie wouldn’t have found out later.

  Several times during the week, a man named Jake Carr had visited Anna. He was a salesman for a real estate company and was in town trying to convince the Holton City Council to sell some of their land just on the outskirts of town. He had talked to several of the merchants in town including Anna hoping to gain their support.

  Jake and Anna had talked business only a few minutes before Anna explained that she was new to town and couldn’t make any decision about what was best for Holton. Their conversation had soon turned to other things and Jake and Anna discovered that had attended the same college although not at the same time.

  Like Anna, Jake was African-American. The African-American population in Holton was small so with something in common, the two of them had formed a light friendship. Anna found Jake to be amusing and fun and she was relaxed in his company so when he asked her to have dinner with him his last night in town she had quickly agreed.

  Although afraid to admit it to anyone other than herself, Anna was hoping that dinner with a charming man would keep her mind off of Steven. She had been thinking about him far too much. In her heart, she knew it was an act of desperation but she couldn’t face another long evening all alone with Steven on her mind. Jake was safe. He didn’t stir up all the emotions that Steven did.

  She didn’t try to explain any of this to Julie, as she knew her friend would not understand; however, Anna never expected Julie’s reaction to the news that she was having dinner with Jake.

  “But what about Steven?” Julie asked in a shocked voice.

  “What about Steven?” Anna asked equally shocked. Julie’s surprise was so unexpected that Anna wasn’t sure she even understood the question.

  “You told him you didn’t want a relationship because you needed time to yourself and now you are going out with someone else?”

  “He told you?” Anna said her voice rising in anger. “How dare he! He had no right repeating what I told him in private.”

  “Now, Anna,” Julie said in a soothing tone. “It wasn’t like that at all. Steve didn’t tell me. He told Andrew and Andrew told me.”

  “And that is supposed to be better? Now everyone is talking about my private life.”

  Anna rose from the chair and began to pace in exasperation. It upset Anna a great deal to know that Steven, Julie and Andrew had discussed her. She knew her past was coloring her objectivity but Anna hated gossip. She had heard too many whispers and unkind comments about her mother and the knowledge that people were talking about her ignited her anger.

  She turned to see Julie watching her with concern. Julie took a deep breath and tried to explain. “Anna, you have to understand. On Tuesday, when Steve came back to the office he was so upset that we knew something was wrong. We are all very close. Steven doesn’t get angry very often. Andrew got him to talk about it and then because I was so concerned he told me.”

  Julie paused. Anna was still angry. She had left Mayville because she was tired of people talking about her family. She didn’t like the feeling and hoped it would be different in Holton where no one knew anything about her.

  “Look, Anna, I guess you should know,” Julie was saying. “I’m nosy. Most people are kind enough to say I have a very curious steak, but I’m just really nosy. Anna, please believe me, we never meant any harm.”

  Anna’s anger began to fade. She knew Julie well enough now to see she was telling the truth. They were a very close group and if Steven was upset, Andrew and Julie would have been concerned. She sighed softly and sat down.

  “Nosy, huh?” she said with a slight smile.

  “Very,” Julie replied, still a little cautious.

  “Sorry, Julie,” Anna said embarrassed.

  “No.” Julie reached across the desk to grab her hand. “I’m sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut but Anna, Steven is not going to be happy about this.”

  “He doesn’t have to be happy. It is none of his business,” Anna replied.

  Julie didn’t look convinced but she said nothing and left soon after. Anna tried to keep from feeling guilty. It was not unreasonable. She didn’t owe Steven anything. She knew she had the right to date whomever she wanted but Anna couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she was cheating on Steven. Why did she feel guilty? She had only known the man a couple of weeks.

  It wasn’t the best way to start off an evening and Anna was a nervous wreck by the time Jake arrived to pick her up. It didn’t take long for him to notice and question her. Anna decided to tell him a little bit about the situation. Jake was kind enough to say he understood and immediately tried to put her at ease by saying they would simply have dinner as friends.

  Unfortunately, Jake had planned a very romantic evening. There was only one good restaurant in town. The King’ Court was an upscale establishment with cloth napkins and fine wine. As it was a Friday night, the restaurant was crowded and Anna saw several people she knew. There was no way that the news of her date would not reach Steven. Anna was unable to relax and the rest of the evening was very awkward.

  “I don’t suppose there is any reason for me to call you again, is there?” Jake asked when they arrived at her door.

  “I’m sorry,” Anna said seriously. She was sorry. Jake was a good man and had been the perfect gentleman. He thanked her for a lovely evening and lightly kissed her cheek. Anna was grateful for his sensitivity. She wished she had felt more attracted to him. He was the kind of man Anna enjoyed being around. He was intelligent and undemanding. He didn’t try to rule her life. Unfortunately, Anna knew Jake would never make her forget Steven. There was simply no spark between them.

  After Jake left, Anna glanced at the clock and realized it was only ten p.m. Anna laughed at herself and tried to remember the last time she was home by ten after a date. She couldn’t remember.

  Anna slept fitfully that night. Most of her things had not yet arrived from Mayville and she had to sleep on an air mattress until the movers arrived in the morning with her furniture. Anna tried to convince herself that was why she had trouble falling asleep that night and why she overslept the next morning.

  The movers arrived on time and she was so busy the rest of the weekend that she did not have time to worry about Steven and his reaction to her date.

  Monday morning dawned bright and clear. Anna was glad to leave her apartment to return to the working world. After two days sorting out all her possessions, Anna was ready for a break. She happily returned to work.

  Julie again joined her for coffee and Anna refrained from asking about Steven. Julie did not volunteer any information but simply asked Anna about her weekend. Anna assumed that Steven was avoiding her but she soon disco
vered she was wrong. He arrived right before lunch and one look at his face told Anna he had heard about her date and was very angry.

  She watched with trepidation as he firmly shut and locked the door behind him before advancing across the room. Anna knew she should object to his high-handed behavior but she was too shocked to say anything. She had never expected to see Steven so furious. The anger she had witnessed before was nothing to what he was displaying now. He glared at her, his face stiff and unyielding. His body was tight and his hand clenched at his sides. Her heart began to pound and she wondered if this was the way her mother had felt right before her father began to beat her. Anna held her breath and waited for the explosion. It never came.

  Steven walked over to the desk and sat down in the chair opposite her. He stared at her a minute, studying her face as if he was looking for something and then suddenly the anger simply disappeared.

  “I think you owe me an explanation,” he said softly.

  Anna said nothing. She was in shock. What had happened to all that anger? Was he really able to let it go so quickly? She stared at him wondering who was the real Steven Carson.

  “Anna,” he said prompting her.

  “What?” she asked, still somewhat confused.

  “An explanation, Anna. You told me you didn’t want a relationship right now but you go out with some guy no one even knows.” The anger began creeping back into his voice.

  “I don’t have to explain anything to you,” she said defensively. “I can date whomever I please.”

  Steven rose quickly from his chair and walked over to the window to stare out into the street. For a moment, he said nothing then he turned to look at her. His face was perfectly still and Anna realized she had no idea what he was thinking. He nodded once.

  “You’re right,” he said. “You don’t owe me anything. I had hoped you would simply want to tell me. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry, Anna. I was out of line.”

  In shock, Anna watched him turn to the door and open it. He paused and then gave her one sad smile and walked out.

  Anna stared at the door wondering what had just happened. Steven’s reaction totally confused her. With a sinking feeling, Anna wondered if she had chased him away for good. She was afraid of her feelings for him but she wasn’t ready to let them go completely.

  Late that night, Anna had the nightmare. She hadn’t had the dream in years and she worried about the timing. Was Steven’s anger the cause of the dream? Did she fear him like she did her father? The nightmare was always the same. It began with her father beating her mother and then yelling at her. She always woke just when the house was engulfed in flames. Her father had died in a fire and although Anna had been told that the cause was cigarettes, she had never been able to shed the belief that she was at least partially to blame.

  When the fire had started, she and her parents had rushed from the house. He father had shouted at her asking her over and over if she had left the candles burning in the living room. Anna had not been able to remember and her father had blamed her. He had been drunk and was totally out of control. It was the one time he had hit her. He had won a great deal of money at a poker game earlier in the evening and the money was still in the house. Unable to believe that he would come to any harm, he had returned to the house to retrieve the money. Anna had tried to stop him but he had pushed her away. He never made it out.

  The nightmare was a sign that Steven was affecting her. His anger had frightened her briefly and Anna believed that it had caused the dream. She just hoped that it wasn’t going to be an ongoing problem.

  #

  The room was comfortable and cozy but Steven’s thoughts were far away. Sitting in his parents’ living room, he was still thinking about what Anna had said.

  He had completely over-reacted this morning. His anger had been inappropriate. Steven knew he felt territorial around Anna but that he had no real claim to her. He had forgotten that Anna didn’t feel the same way he did. She didn’t have his knack for making snap decisions. To Anna, their mutual attraction was simply that – a mutual attraction. She hadn’t yet realized that they belonged together.

  Anna made her decisions slowly and after careful consideration. She liked being in control and if she felt even a fraction of what Steven did, then control was in short supply right now. It was probably driving her crazy. Steven knew he had been rushing her, which was why he had backed off when she had asked. Then he made the mistake of pushing her once again.

  The problem was no matter what Anna felt that didn’t change Steven’s feelings for her and when he had heard about her date, he had been jealous, unbelievably and unreasonably jealous. He hadn’t realized what an ugly emotion jealousy could be until his anger had carried him into Anna’s office.

  It was the fear in Anna’s eyes that had stopped him from venting that anger. He had wanted to confront her, wanted to demand an explanation but for the first time in his life someone had been afraid of him. It worried Steven. No one had ever been afraid of him before and that fear had cooled his anger quicker than anything she could have said or done. He still wasn’t sure why she had been afraid. He hadn’t threatened her, hadn’t even spoken to her when he first saw the fear on her face but it had been there. It was that fear that occupied his thoughts now. He didn’t know what to do about it.

  “Steve.” His mother’s voice broke into his thoughts and he looked up to see her watching him. Apparently she had been speaking for some time but he had not heard a word she said.

  Every Monday night, Steven had dinner with his parents. He wasn’t really sure when the ritual had first begun but it had started soon after he had returned from law school. When he and Andrew first set up their practice, they both purchased houses in their old neighborhood. Some people had thought it was strange that they both wanted to live so close to their parents but both men genuinely liked their families and the location was ideal. It was only a mile from their office.

  Andrew had moved to a newer part of town soon after Carolyn had died. The house had been built specifically for his family and the move had been good for the children. They had needed the change after the loss of their mother. Steven, on the other hand, still lived just down the block from his parents and Phyllis Moore, who lived next door.

  The Monday night ritual had begun because of a natural desire to spend time with people he loved and continued simply because they all enjoyed it. Andrew and Carolyn had joined them at first, as did Andrew’s parents, Jack and Phyllis Moore. After Andrew’s children were born, they had stopped coming but often, as was the case tonight, Phyllis still joined them. Now a widow, Phyllis enjoyed the company of her friends.

  Steven looked around the room. It was comfortable and warm, a safe place. The chair he was sitting in was one of his favorites. It was large and comfortable and faced the rest of the room. Patricia and Phyllis sat on the couch across from him and his father was seated in another chair nearby. Steven had spent many hours in this room learning about life and love. He glanced at his mother and shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, Mom. I didn’t hear a word you said.”

  “I was asking about the case against Cofax Chemicals,” Patricia said, “but I’d rather know what put that tremendous frown on your face.”

  Steven laughed softly. He looked first at his mother and then at Phyllis. Both of them were waiting expectantly. Steven knew he could say he didn’t want to talk about it and they would respect his privacy. They seldom pried into his life but Steven thought their opinion might be helpful.

  Then he glanced at his father who sat silent in his chair observing them but not saying a word. A carpenter by trade, Dan spent hours in the sun and it showed on his rugged face. He was a large, quiet man. He had brown hair, hazel eyes and a rather plain face. He was kind and generous but had little formal education. Steven had always found it interesting that his mother, who had a doctorate in education and his father, who had not finished high school until a few years ago, had such a strong marriage.

&
nbsp; Steven had always valued their advice so he thoughtfully explained the situation. He told them all about his feeling for Anna and what he thought about her feelings for him. He explained about her date and his reaction to it. He didn’t mention the fear he had seen in Anna’s eyes. Somehow that seemed too private to share.

  When he finished, no one spoke for several minutes. Then Phyllis said, “She’s running scared, Steve. In spite of the way you feel, Anna barely knows you. She is new to town. She is setting up a business and you come crashing into her life. That is a lot of change. It’s bound to be a little unsettling.”

  “You can be rather intimidating, Steven,” his mother added. “We know you so of course we don’t see it that way but for someone who just met you, things are a little different.”

  “Gee, thanks Mom,” Steven said sarcastically. He had never known that he could be intimidating. Actually, he had never really thought about it at all. His mother made him sound rather alarming. Maybe Anna’s fear wasn’t so unusual after all.

  Both women laughed at his expression before Patricia continued, “Don’t worry, Steve, it’s not that bad but I can understand Anna’s viewpoint. When I first met your father, I was somewhat intimidated. Here was this large, very determined man who seemed to want to take over my entire life. It was a little scary. And, you, Steven, are a lot like him.”

  Steven exchanged grins with his father. They both knew that where Patricia or his children were concerned, Dan was a marshmallow. He would do anything she asked. Patricia intercepted their grins.

  “Of course, I know better now but at the time, I was confused. Love is like that, you know.”

  “Just be patient, son,” his father said softly. Steven met Dan’s eyes and saw the reassurance there. He took his father’s advice to heart. He would be patient. Anna was worth the wait.